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What to Do When You First Meet Your Swinger Dates

swinger datesIf making the decision to start swinging with your partner seemed scary enough, the journey to your meet your first swinger dates can leave you with nails bitten back all the way to the bone. The first thing to understand is that this is perfectly normal and was something all of us swingers went through. All types of hookup dating are nerve wracking to begin with, but once you get a few notches under your belt, you will never look back.

Whether or not this is your first swingers date, we have put together a list of things to remember to help you beat your nerves so you can concentrate on just having a really fun filled enjoyable time.

Once you have met a couple you like, usually through one of the great swingers online dating sites, and have done the groundwork of getting to know them a bit, it won’t be long before the time comes to actually meet them face to face to have some fun.

Before meeting them, we always recommend that you setup a code word that will let your partner know that you don’t like your dates and wish to call it off. Since you never know what couples are going to be like until you meet them in person, code words are an excellent way of communicating to your partner without the others knowing. Along with this code word, you should have prepared an excuse to help you get out of there without causing offence. One of my personal favorites is a well-timed ‘pocket call’ from your partner, which allows you to pretend to have a conversation with whoever it is that will give you a reason to leave. Avoid too serious topics like car accidents or dead pets, but minor emergencies such as having to pick up a friend’s kids from school, or an urgent need to help an elderly neighbor, are both perfectly fine and believable.

When it comes to the actual date, things will go much smoother if you pick a good place to meet. Avoid hotel lobbies and any other such openly public place. Instead, you should try a bar or a restaurant that has a good level of background noise, so you can relax knowing you will not be overheard. It is definitely a good idea to have already decided beforehand if you are just meeting for a chator are going to go for the hookup after too.Having this already decided, helps to relieve tension.

 

Here are a few final tips before you meet:

 

  • Be punctual and exchange phone numbers just in case
  • Dress well
  • Try not to be too nervous
  • Don’t get drunk
  • Don’t have too high expectations
  • Bring your own condoms lube etc. (If planning a hookup)

 

What to do and say when you finally meet:

 

Meeting any person for the first time can be a bit of a challenge, but if you are a just about to jump into becoming swingers, then it really can feel like a lot of pressure. Start by remembering that you have your partner there, so you both can support each other if the need arises. You should have already gotten to know your swinger dates a little bit online beforehand, so meeting them as much of a surprise as you imagine. An added bonus of them likely being an experienced swinger’s couple is that they will be able to guide the conversation and events leading up to and including the hookup. This will make things feel much more natural.

Upon meeting your dates, always remember to be polite and to greet them with a smile. A smile has been proven to reinforce trust and to represent that person as being nice and friendly. Even though you probably got to know each other online already, it is worth introducing yourselves again as this will really help to get the conversation going. So far as what to talk about, it is best to just stick to what makes you comfortable, and remember to always be yourself. If you try too hard, you will come across as being a little desperate or even strange.

Keep the topics lighthearted and for the time being, avoid talking too much about the reason why you are meeting up. Generally, you should express a good level of interest in the other couple, something which can be achieved by asking them frequent questions, for example.

 

Good topics include:

 

How they met/have been a couple

Hobbies/interests

Countries they have visited etc.

The conversation can be helped along with a small drink, which will help loosen inhibitions and get everyone in the mood. Again, it is strongly advised that you don’t drink more than 1 or 2 drinks in total, as getting drunk or even a little tipsy in these situations not only risks you doing or saying the wrong thing but also can detract from the pleasure later on.

 

How to get the action to the bedroom

 

Well, this is generally the easy bit, especially as both couples feel like they want to make it happen.  It can be as simple as saying something like “should we go somewhere a little more comfortable?” or “we really like you guys, so how about we go to the hotel?” This is another useful time to have a code word in order to check with your partner that he/she is happy to take things to the next level.

A really great tip is when heading to the hotel/room you should pair up with the person you will be having sex with. Walking is a healthy activity that allows for a nice distraction for the nerves as well. Walking causes a release of dopamine in the brain which makes you feel happier and calmer. From this moment on, you should stick in these ‘pairs’ as it will help things seem more natural when you get into the bedroom. Avoid sticking too closely to your life partner as it might show disinterest to the other couple.

 

How to get the action started

 

swinger sexOnce you make it to the bedroom, it is a good idea to sit down with your new sex partner in a way that makes you nice and close. Music is a great aphrodisiac in this situation, though you should definitely avoid putting on a TV as this will cause too much distraction and dampen the atmosphere. Another small drink helps a lot at this point when you should begin cozying up to your new partner. You should really be flirting heavily by now and increasing the amount of physical contact to get things started. Once they do, you only need to go with the flow. Remember to always focus on your sex partner rather than your life partner (should you decide to have sex in the same room/bed).

Once the sex has started, you will find yourself very quickly into the flow of things and fully enjoying all the excitement and fun of being a swinger now that you have freed yourself from the shackles of your old relationship.  Remember to just relax and enjoy the fun.

One Response to What to Do When You First Meet Your Swinger Dates

  1. libyo says:

    I wish to try swinging experiance

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