Nowadays, alternative relationship styles are becoming more and more prevalent. No longer is monogamy the only option—open relationships and swinging lifestyles are often portrayed in the media, although not in a positive light every time. There is still stigma around swingers, and some people regard them as cheaters who can’t stay faithful. However, there are really a ton of reasons to consider swinging and opening up your relationship to new sexual experiences. You never know, it could save your marriage.
With that said, here are some reasons why a swinging lifestyle might be a good fit for you.
Swinger couples divorce less
Couples who swing are known to have stronger, longer lasting marriages than monogamous couples. The facts show that they have a decreased rate of divorce than their monogamous counterparts. Although we don’t know for sure why this is, there are many plausible reasons.
Some people believe monogamy isn’t a natural way to live. It’s normal to be attracted to other people, even if you are married, and resisting temptation is often difficult. If your partner can’t give you everything you need emotionally and physically, leaving room for you to desire others, then you may be tempted to sleep with someone else. Cheating is one of the number one reasons for divorce in the world, and swingers effectively dodge that bullet entirely.
Swinging is not superior to monogamy, nor is monogamy superior to swinging. It all depends on the person. Some couples are not equipped to share their spouses with other people—foursomes can be awkward and create jealousy. If you’re prone to jealousy, you should work on those feelings first before diving into swinging.
Swingers do not cheat nearly as much as monogamous couples. They are able to share their partners and indulge themselves in having sex with new, interesting people. Cheating happens when someone is feeling like their sexual—and maybe emotional—needs are not being met. If you can meet each other’s needs in a monogamous relationship, great! If not, swinging is a great option. Maybe the other woman is willing to fulfill a desire of your husbands that you don’t want to engage in. If he has the opportunity to act that out, he’s not going to be likely to cheat.
People cheat on their partners and keep it secret because they are fearful of their spouse’s reaction. If the spouse is also involved—and enjoying it equally as much—there is no room for fear. Monogamous couples can fall into a jealousy trap. Some think that if their partner makes any gesture or comment at or toward someone they’re attracted to, then it will result in an affair and cheating. This fear just doesn’t exist in swingers, and they are more mentally healthy because of it. What’s funny, though, is that many cheaters would not dare partake in a swinging relationship, because they are fearful of their partner cheating on them.
Every person has a sexual fantasy that they are dying to have fulfilled. Maybe it’s to have a foursome or to sleep with two men or women at once. Or, maybe you want to try playing with the same sex in a safe environment. Swinging is a very safe place for couples to act out their fantasies in a way that isn’t harmful to the relationship.
Not everyone is interested in doing every sex act. If your partner is unwilling to do something sexual that you’re dying to do—maybe you want someone to put on a costume or roleplay—then that can create resentment and may even lead to cheating. If you are able to act these fantasies out in an environment where you have your partners approval, everyone comes out happy.
Strengthen your relationship
Couples who swing report greater relationship satisfaction, which is obvious when you consider that they divorce less. They’re better able to fulfill their sexual desires while maintaining the emotional connection they have with their primary partner.
Having sex with other people and seeing your partner do so as well has a way of strengthening the bond between two people in a relationship. It’s a new experience that you’re both diving into together, and that increases trust.
Learn new moves
If you’ve been married for twenty years and have only been having sex with the same person, you probably are doing the same old positions and moves every single time. You’re no longer learning new ways to please your partner, and things are maybe getting kind of stale.
When you start having sex with other couples, you can see the way they like to do things. Maybe they know a move or two that you haven’t thought of but are actually really pleasurable for you and your spouse. If you swing once and don’t end up liking it, at least you’ll have learned a bunch of new techniques and positions that you and your spouse can adopt and use in your personal sex life.
Meet new people
Swinging gives you the opportunity to put yourself out there. You and your spouse will have the chance to meet people you otherwise never would have. If you become a regular in the swinging scene, you may meet some people who end up becoming life-long friends.
Many swinger pairs go on vacations and trips together and actually build really strong, solid friendships. That may sound uncomfortable to you, but once you meet a couple who you and your spouse click with, it becomes similar to dating someone new.
Now, swinging isn’t for everyone. As I said, it really requires a couple to be secure in their relationship before attempting it. Swinging isn’t a way to fix a marriage in turmoil. Instead, it’s a way to meet new people, act out some sexual fantasies, and strengthen the bond between you and your spouse.