The simple truth is it is inevitable that at some point the sex in any relationship will grow stale and lose its excitement. The problem with this is that sex is a really important part of maintaining a healthy relationship, something that until recently was sadly overlooked.
Sex is not just an activity that helps to reinforce the intimacy of a relationship, but is also a physical activity that helps to give the body a workout while also releasing a chemical compound call dopamine into your brain. Dopamine is the brain’s reward for doing physical activity and is vital for a feeling of wellbeing and happiness. During and after sex, the brain releases large amounts of dopamine which results in us feeling happier and relaxed.
For this reason, sex is a very important part of a relationship that can’t be ignored. Fortunately, there are lots of things that you can do when your sex life begins to lose its excitement. Kinky Sex, BDSM, and Swinging are all great options that will certainly bring back the excitement and take you to new heights sexually, as well.
A staggering 60% of first-time swingers said that opening up their relationship to swinging improved their happiness and their relationship as a whole. When this figure is compared to the 1.5% of couples who said that swinging had made the relationship worse, the advantages of swinging are plain to see.
If you are someone who wants to open your relationship up to swinging then here are a few useful tips on how to do so:
Honesty is king
The founding stone of all healthy relationships is honesty. There is a huge difference between swinging and cheating, the latter involving deception and dishonesty, which will almost certainly destroy your relationship. Being honest is not just about being truthful with the other person, but is also about being truthful with yourself and your feelings.
Be sure that you really want to swing
Before you get anywhere near bringing this topic up with your partner, you need to have a serious think about whether or not you really want to get into swinging. Most people start thinking about swinging when they see it in a movie or in a porn film that makes it appear to be only fun and excitement. Getting into swinging definitely presents couples with some real emotional challenges that can destroy a relationship, if not overcome. Emotions such as jealousy and rejection will certainly rear their ugly heads and when they do, must be overcome in an adult, non-destructive way.
To make sure you are ready, the first thing you will need to do is to ask yourself some serious questions about why you want to get into swinging and if you think you are mentally up to it.
Telling your partner
Opening up to your partner is a really huge obstacle that you will need to face. Remember, once you have decided that swinging is something you want to explore, you must at least open up to your partner and get your feelings out. Don’t make the mistake of keeping them locked up inside and never giving yourself the chance to explore these desires.
Though it is hard to be honest about sexual thoughts that are not part of what is considered to be normal sexual behavior, the simple fact is that you must. To tell your partner you can either try the soft or hard approach.
Probably the best way, the soft approach involves dropping small hints from time to time in order to initiate a response. This could be referring to an article, film or anything else that brings up the topic of swinging. Questions such as:‘what do you think about swingers?’ and ‘did you ever think of trying swinging? should get a reaction from your partner that will give you an idea of their opinion on the subject.
The hard approach involves sitting your partner down for a talk and confiding in them about your desires. This has a risk of backfiring if they get offended, so you should make sure you are ready for this.
Give them time
After you have opened up to your partner they will almost certainly need time to process what you have told them. A good idea is to direct them to resources to help them get a better picture of what swinging really means and what it involves. If they need to ask more questions, make sure you are ready to answer them.
Once they have agreed to swinging, you will both need to sit down and come up with a few ground rules to make sure things go smoothly. This is important as there are lots of ways to swing. Some couples will only engage in ‘soft’ activities such as touching and oral sex. Others will engage in ‘hard’ activities such as full intercourse and group sex. It is vital to have rules in place that respect both your boundaries.
Meet like-minded couples online
The best way to start your journey into swinging is to meet another swinger couple online and take it from there. A couple, opposed to two single swingers, will be much better at making things more relaxed and easy. They will know each other well and crucially, will have experienced what it is like going through this experience as a couple first-hand. As a result, they should make excellent guides to help you with any nervousness an doubts you both might have.
Go slowly and build your confidence
Just because you have decided to swing it doesn’t mean that you need to jump in at the deep end. Take it slowly and let your confidence build. Going slowly will also give you both time to make sure that if you have any doubts, you can both work them out. If you have found a couple then go on a few dinner dates with them first to get to know them, and just take things from there.
After you are in, make sure you hit a good swingers party
So you are now fully fledged swingers? Well, the great news is that this is just the beginning. Once you have hooked up with a couple then it is time to blow your mind at a good swinger’s party. There are thousands of great parties organized each week, which range from small gatherings in someone’s home to full on swinger cruises. No matter which type you prefer, it is definitely time to get yourselves to a full on swingers party and have some real fun.
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