8 Easy Steps to Make Your Relationship Swing

easy stepsThe simple truth is it is inevitable that at some point the sex in any relationship will grow stale and lose its excitement. The problem with this is that sex is a really important part of maintaining a healthy relationship, something that until recently was sadly overlooked.

Sex is not just an activity that helps to reinforce the intimacy of a relationship, but is also a physical activity that helps to give the body a workout while also releasing a chemical compound call dopamine into your brain. Dopamine is the brain’s reward for doing physical activity and is vital for a feeling of wellbeing and happiness. During and after sex, the brain releases large amounts of dopamine which results in us feeling happier and relaxed.

For this reason, sex is a very important part of a relationship that can’t be ignored. Fortunately, there are lots of things that you can do when your sex life begins to lose its excitement. Kinky Sex, BDSM, and Swinging are all great options that will certainly bring back the excitement and take you to new heights sexually, as well.

A staggering 60% of first-time swingers said that opening up their relationship to swinging improved their happiness and their relationship as a whole. When this figure is compared to the 1.5% of couples who said that swinging had made the relationship worse, the advantages of swinging are plain to see.

If you are someone who wants to open your relationship up to swinging then here are a few useful tips on how to do so:

  1. Honesty is king

The founding stone of all healthy relationships is honesty. There is a huge difference between swinging and cheating, the latter involving deception and dishonesty, which will almost certainly destroy your relationship. Being honest is not just about being truthful with the other person, but is also about being truthful with yourself and your feelings.

  1. Be sure that you really want to swing

Before you get anywhere near bringing this topic up with your partner, you need to have a serious think about whether or not you really want to get into swinging. Most people start thinking about swinging when they see it in a movie or in a porn film that makes it appear to be only fun and excitement. Getting into swinging definitely presents couples with some real emotional challenges that can destroy a relationship, if not overcome. Emotions such as jealousy and rejection will certainly rear their ugly heads and when they do, must be overcome in an adult, non-destructive way.

To make sure you are ready, the first thing you will need to do is to ask yourself some serious questions about why you want to get into swinging and if you think you are mentally up to it.

  1. Telling your partner

Opening up to your partner is a really huge obstacle that you will need to face. Remember, once you have decided that swinging is something you want to explore, you must at least open up to your partner and get your feelings out. Don’t make the mistake of keeping them locked up inside and never giving yourself the chance to explore these desires.

Though it is hard to be honest about sexual thoughts that are not part of what is considered to be normal sexual behavior, the simple fact is that you must. To tell your partner you can either try the soft or hard approach.

Probably the best way, the soft approach involves dropping small hints from time to time in order to initiate a response. This could be referring to an article, film or anything else that brings up the topic of swinging. Questions such as:‘what do you think about swingers?’ and ‘did you ever think of trying swinging? should get a reaction from your partner that will give you an idea of their opinion on the subject.

The hard approach involves sitting your partner down for a talk and confiding in them about your desires. This has a risk of backfiring if they get offended, so you should make sure you are ready for this.

  1. Give them time

After you have opened up to your partner they will almost certainly need time to process what you have told them. A good idea is to direct them to resources to help them get a better picture of what swinging really means and what it involves. If they need to ask more questions, make sure you are ready to answer them.

  1. Set boundaries

Once they have agreed to swinging, you will both need to sit down and come up with a few ground rules to make sure things go smoothly. This is important as there are lots of ways to swing. Some couples will only engage in ‘soft’ activities such as touching and oral sex. Others will engage in ‘hard’ activities such as full intercourse and group sex. It is vital to have rules in place that respect both your boundaries.

  1. Meet like-minded couples online

swinging relationshipThe best way to start your journey into swinging is to meet another swinger couple online and take it from there. A couple, opposed to two single swingers, will be much better at making things more relaxed and easy. They will know each other well and crucially, will have experienced what it is like going through this experience as a couple first-hand. As a result, they should make excellent guides to help you with any nervousness an doubts you both might have.

  1. Go slowly and build your confidence

Just because you have decided to swing it doesn’t mean that you need to jump in at the deep end. Take it slowly and let your confidence build. Going slowly will also give you both time to make sure that if you have any doubts, you can both work them out. If you have found a couple then go on a few dinner dates with them first to get to know them, and just take things from there.

  1. After you are in, make sure you hit a good swingers party

So you are now fully fledged swingers? Well, the great news is that this is just the beginning. Once you have hooked up with a couple then it is time to blow your mind at a good swinger’s party. There are thousands of great parties organized each week, which range from small gatherings in someone’s home to full on swinger cruises. No matter which type you prefer, it is definitely time to get yourselves to a full on swingers party and have some real fun.


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5 Interesting Things You Might Not Know about Swingers

things you may not knowRecently it was revealed that around 10 million couples in the United States are open to having sex with someone from outside the relationship. Before we begin, this is not a reference to cheating, but sex with the permission and agreement of their partner. These people are frequently labeled as ‘swingers’, though why, how, where and who they have sex with varies enormously from one couple to the next. Generally, the term swinger applies to a couple who have sex with people from outside the marriage. The frequency and amount of sex again vary considerably, with some couples only doing it once or twice a year, while others engaging in it every weekend.

Since swinging is still such a misunderstood and marginalized subculture, here are a few interesting fact that might help you understand it a little better.

  1. Most couples don’t start swinging just because the man wants to

It is generally assumed that the man in a relationship gets bored or frustrated and therefore initiates the couples move into swinging. In fact, it is frequently the case that the women that is the one who is dissatisfied and initiates the change. The reasons for this can be numerous, they can be anything from a women’s desire to sleep with another man to her being bisexual and wishing to have explore this side of her sexuality.

Many swingers actually report that the male didn’t initiate the conversation as they were too fearful of offending their partner. As a result, it was in fact, the women who raised the possibility of swinging. Men feel too scared that they might offend by being honest and risk being seen like they might want to sleep around because their partner is not enough for them. Women generally feel like they can be more open about this subject and are more often than not, the one who brings the subject up.

  1. Swingers get jealous

Popular belief is that swingers don’t get jealous. Nothing could be further from the truth. Swingers, though not engaged in what you could call the average sexual lifestyle, are still subject to the same emotions as the rest of us. It is incredibly common to hear of swingers who have gotten jealous in some shape or form and have reacted in a way that showed offense. This jealousy could be between couples or even aimed at other swingers if, for example, an individual sees someone they like at a party going off with someone else.

The chances of the little green eyed monster rearing its ugly head are made far greater when sets of couples get to know each other more. A fairly common cause of jealousy is when two couples frequently meet to exchange partners but one couple then decides to swing with a new couple. In cases like this, it is not uncommon for the offended couple to completely cut off the other couple or at least to give them the cold shoulder.

  1. Not all swingers are in it for sex

There are loads of terms that are common parlance within the swingers community. A ‘full swap’ refers to couples who both swap partners and have full intercourse with the other people. A ‘soft swap’, on the other hand, is usually limited to not having sexual intercourse, but rather something like mild sexual stimulation that doesn’t involve full-blown sex. Some couples will only swap women, while others just like to have sex somewhere other couples are also doing the same.

With so many different people involved in swinging, it doesn’t really come as a surprise that there are so many different ways that people choose to swing. It is not uncommon to meet swingers who go to parties every weekend but who haven’t had sex with anyone for a long time. Instead, there attend just to have a good time and enjoy themselves in an environment where they can be free of inhibitions.

  1. Most swingers have a good relationship and really love each other

swinger couplesThe popular misconception about swingers is that their relationship is not really one based on true love, but rather is one they continue because of financial or family ties. There might be a convenient reason that so many people choose to believe this,particularly as it then means they are not forced to be answer a few difficult questions about their own. The fact that swingers have been honest about the lack of sexual excitement in their relationship and have chosen to engage in a more sexually open one, is a fact that disturbs many other people.

The simple truth is that swinging takes an extraordinary amount of trust, understanding, and honesty between two people. There is also a requirement to master one’s own feelings to become a stronger person when emotions such as jealousy and guilt rear their ugly head. Becoming a swinger is not for the faint-hearted and so easier dismissed by others so that they need not ask themselves more difficult questions about their own strengths and weaknesses.

  1. Swingers nearly always keep their life a secret

When was the last time you ever saw a sign on the street that read ‘swinger party this way’? The fact of the matter is that even if your neighbors were having a swinger’s party next door, you would not know that it was one. Swingers take their privacy very seriously indeed and choose to avoid any unwanted attention that might result from their lifestyle choice.

If you have not involved in the community, the chances you will even know a couple who are swingers is very small indeed. This is certainly more to do with society’s stigmas, rather than any feeling of shame. Swingers don’t have raucous all-night parties where the shouts and moans of couples having sex keep the neighborhood up all night. It just doesn’t happen.

In the end, swingers are just ordinary people who have chosen to be more open sexually. Other than this there is no difference between them and any other couple. The fact that they have chosen to be so honest with themselves and explore their desires, should give all people pause and motivate them to try to be brave enough to do the same.